The Rise and Fall of Anger and Pain
by ScribblersScribe
Summary: Words which have gone unspoken between brothers are finally said.


It was late into the night when Mako got home. He felt so happy that he was practically floating. He inhaled deeply through his nose, the faint smell of noodles hanging in the air. Extra slowly he crept along, not wanting to wake his sleeping brother. Mako easily took off his boots and set them in their place before he began shucking his clothes.

Tired eyes looked around, trying to catch sight of his sleeping brother. As he took off his jacket he realized it was too quiet. He moved along a bit more, going over to where his brother slept. A frown creased his face when he saw that his brother wasn't there. "Bo?" He called as he began to look around, panic rising in him. "Bo?!" He should have been home.

He managed to calm long enough to look for a note, when he found none he found that panic clutched his chest again.

Mako quickly put his boots back on and rushed out into the hallway of the apartment block they now lived in. He rushed for the stairs and took them in three's, racing outside. "BOLIN?!"

He ran over to his motorcycle and hopped onto it, racing away to check all the places he might find his brother. Restaurant after restaurant, place after place he found nothing. His panic and the worry that he wasn't wrong about something having happened to his little brother grew. "BOLIN?!" he called out as he went through the park.

The night was cold enough for soft puffs of exhaled air to be seen. People were bundled in warm clothes as they walked the sidewalks of the Republic City streets. Now Mako was happy he hadn't stayed over at the temple with Korra.

Finally his travels took him to the Pro Bending Arena. The gold building shone beautifully in the city light.

Hurriedly he got off his motorcycle and went to go inside, pausing when he saw a shirtless figure standing alone. "Bolin?" He called as he began to head over to the figure, duty making him check who this was and make sure they were safe before he could go back to his search.

Even though there was no answer he kept walking forward. His eyes continued to stay on the person before him. They were looking out towards the walkway that jutted out into the water. The place where he and Korra had kissed.

Once he had gotten a bit closer he recognized the shape of the person's back, his steps turning into a jog. "Bo?! BOLIN!"

He raced out over to his brother, putting a hand onto his far too cold skin. "What are you doing?!" He demanded as he looked him over to see if he was alright, pausing when he got to his brothers wrapped arms and hands. The wrappings that covered his knuckles were dark with blood. He looked down at his brother, a tight feeling in his chest blossoming when the green eyes looked away from him. "Bo… Come on. Let's get you inside."

Bolin was quiet as his brother led him into the Arena with a firm hand on his back. He allowed Mako to guide him to the area where they used to train together. A time which felt so very long go in his memory. Bolin was sat down in a corner and sat down, his eyes catching sight of his brother quickly moving to retrieve one of the medical supply kits.

Mako kept looking at Bolin, something was wrong with his brother. He was never quiet for this long. He tried to think of something to say as he began to remove the bandages on Bolin's left arm. "Oh Bo… what did you do?" he looked at the ruined skin that were his brothers knuckles while his question went unanswered.

They sat in complete silence until finally Bolin spoke.

"How is Korra?" Bolin asked, his voice hoarse for a reason that Mako couldn't guess.

"Korra? She's fine." He said as he finished up cleaning Bolin's right hand and putting a bandage over the area's that were content to keep bleeding. Mako could tell that this wouldn't have come from his brother beating someone, or even from Practicing. He didn't want to think about his brother having done this to himself. Mako told himself to keep talking and he smiled up at his brother, who finally had a nice healthy colour to his skin. "She said she hopes to see you next time she's visiting."

"I was free today." Bolin said, his words not softening at all, and carrying a note of accusation within them.

Mako felt his jaw tighten at that briefly. "I know, she knew. Just… it's such a short visit Bo."

The silence that was between them was heavy and oppressing. Mako looked up from where he knelt and took in his brother's face. Now that he was really looking at him and in decent light he could see how his face was a bit puffy around his eyes. Mako steeled himself, part of him not wanting to ask what he felt he had to. "What happened?"

"I got a bit carried away." Bolin said as he pulled his hands away from his brothers' grasp.

Mako stood up as Bolin did the same. "Why were you standing outside without a coat? Did you want to get sick?"

"Yes. I wanted to get sick Mako." Bolin said flatly as he turned away.

Mako's eyes narrowed at that. He was worried for his brother but he had limits. "Damn it Bo!" he reached out and yanked his shoulder back, spinning the younger man around. "What is WRONG! Stop shutting me out and throwing a tantrum like a child!"

Something he'd just said got a rise out of his brother because the normally happy and wide green eyes narrowed.

Mako fought the impulse to step back. "We're both here, alone. Tell me Bo, what's wrong?" He could see his brother thinking, he could also see him getting aggravated. Mako recognized what his brother was doing to himself. That thing he did when he was younger, when he wanted to express himself and he either couldn't find the right words, or he wanted to both yell and not yell what he had to say. Mako took a slow deep breath. "Yell Bo."

When Bolin said nothing he sighed; mentally steeling himself for the perilous road ahead. "Okay… well… if we're just going to be hanging out around here we might as well talk about how our day was." He kept his eyes on Bolin's. "I can start with mine if you want." He didn't wait for an answer. "So I met with Korra at the temple after work, as you would know since I wasn't there when you would have gotten home." He paused, trying to think of what to say while trying to make it look like it was natural. "She was late though. You know Korra though; she's terrible at being on time when she wants to be. I was late as it was, picking up flowers and chocolates for her."

Mako's head reeled he didn't want to be saying these things, but he didn't want Bolin to keep hoarding whatever he wanted to really say inside. He put on a smile, it being mostly genuine when he remembered what Bolin had been doing today.

"Soooo.. enough about my girlfriend. How is yours?"

Green eyes looked away sharply, Bolin's posture slumped minutely. "Ah-she… "

Mako said nothing. He knew that look, and he knew the fake smile his brother had as he lifted his face to look right at him. He wasn't sure why Bolin even tried since he could read him so well. Actually no, he had an answer for that. One he was sure he'd always known but now as a cop he knew even better. It was a reflex, a protective one.

"She met up with me aaaaand…" Bolin's voice wavered, the younger male taking a deep breath was clearly heard as he attempted to center himself. "Well you know how things are Mako. Sometimes things just don't work out. That's what you've said to your girlfriends before right?"

There was a tight and nearly nausea inducing edge to Bolin's voice.

"That's what you would tell me, whenever I asked about your girlfriend."

"Sometimes things just don't work out Bolin. I know it's hard, but sometimes, things just don't turn out the way you want them to." He knew they weren't talking about his brother's girlfriend anymore.

"I wish I were you Mako. Things seem to go right for you."

Mako laughed uneasily. "Oh yeah? I'm sure my younger self would argue with you."

"And there you go."

"And there I go what?" Mako asked, looking at Bolin.

Bolin stared at him. "It's not MY fault I'm younger than you."

Mako frowned. "I never said it was. How would it be? That doesn't even make sense."

"No. But whenever something is WRONG with me, you ALWAYS bring up how you had to do so much to protect us. I can't ever WIN an argument with you."

"That's not what I was doing." Mako said, feeling defensive at Bolin's words. "I know I did a lot but I would NEVER hold that over you. I did it willingly, to protect you! The thought that you would even think I would hurts, a LOT."

Bolin laughed, it was sharp and harsh. "Y-you can't even help yourself. You just did it AGAIN Mako! I-I'm not allowed to feel mad or angry at you! I have NEVER done anything FOR you! It was ALWAYS you doing it for me. Time and time again."

Mako tensed at that. "You have done a LOT for me Bo. You're my brother, we're all the family we have left."

Bolin shook his head, a hand running angrily through his hair. "Again… we're all we have. I'm your brother… You didn't come back to me some nights when you went to get food for me because you got arrested."

"That's not your fault." Mako told him sternly.

An oppressing silence settled between them. Mako could tell that this wasn't over and he'd wait for Bolin to talk first.

The wait didn't last that long.

"You knew I liked her."

Mako knew on some level that this conversation had always been hanging between them, just waiting for the right time to come out. With how his brother felt, he was sure it was finally it's time. "I know Bo."

"You had Asami."

"And I didn't love her… not like I loved Korra. I just hadn't realized it yet."

"It must be great, having all the time in the world to figure out how you feel about one of two beautiful girls.

Mako's teeth grit together briefly. "For all that you're angry at me for, you know she didn't love you right? Korra PERSUED ME!"

"EVERY GIRL PERSUES YOU!" Bolin snapped. "How many of them would be around waiting for YOU or Hasook! Seriously WANTING you!"

"I am NOT upset about what I did with Korra, I_ am_ upset that you are so hurt by it. As for the fans, you had just as many as we had. You kept jumping into relationships too quickly! Do you think I LIKED seeing you hurting? Time after TIME? Do you think I enjoyed at the end of games seeing you standing there looking out for that one girl, and then forcing that smile when you realized she wasn't coming? DO you think that made me happy?! If I had the means of giving you someone who would treat you right I WOULD do it! But that person is NOT Korra."

"Did you even tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

"Did you even tell her that I liked her? You two talked enough before you kissed. Did you ever ONCE while she was '_Pursuing you_', tell her that I REALLY liked her? That we had TALKED about how I was going to ask her out? Or did you just brush my feelings aside like you did Asami's when you kissed her?"

A pang of guilt wrapped in anger struck Mako's chest. "If you get mad that I constantly am being your 'big brother' and not letting you do things yourself. Then you are NOT allowed to get pissed at me for NOT telling Korra anything. YOU should have taken the initiative!"

"I was going to!"

"You're _always_ going to do something Bolin." Mako said harshly, unable to stop himself.

"I was literally RIGHT THER-"

"You fall in love faster than anyone I know- You know what? I could have saved us a WHOLE Lot of grief if I had just told her that you liked her, and encouraged her to go out with you. Since with YOUR track record I t would have been only a week or two TOPS until she was single again, with her having LEFT YOU!"

Bolin stared feeling like he'd been punched in the chest hard enough to knock the air out of him.

"I would have been HAPPY for you had she ended up with you! She didn't though! Also I don't see you having told her I liked her! I know we had that conversation! You HEARD what I said before you told me to leave some girls for the rest of you!"

Mako stared at his brother, his anger at himself, at his brother and at this whole situation making him more angry.

"You can't just meet someone and expect them to love you back! You have to DO things BO!"

"I DID! I bought her a cake and a flower! I thanked her for saving me, I took her out on a date! I told her she was amazing, the MOST amazing person I'd ever met! I was going to ask her out! Then you had to go and kiss her!"

"If someone isn't interested in you no amount of CAKE and flowers will EVER change that! You have to accept that! She doesn't love you, and she _never_ will. She also kissed me. I might have kissed her back but if SHE had any idea that you liked her, she didn't care when it came to putting HER mouth on mine!" Mako's teeth gritted together briefly. "I did nothing, NOTHING wrong Bolin! Sometimes things just do not work out, and you have to accept that! We can't always have what we want."

"That's easy to say when you've gotten everything."

Mako stared at him and took a step closer. "I don't have everything." He saw the look he was given and even with all the anger he had, he put a gentle hand on Bolin's shoulder. "I want you to be happy, with someone who means as much to you as you do to them. I don't want you to be mad at me for what's happened. I want my little brother to be happy, and free to make the decisions he wants to make. I don't want to see you hurting yourself because you're mad at me. Bo… I didn't steal her away from you… you never had her. You have to understand that."

"How many times have you said that to me?" Bolin asked his voice soft.

"Every time I've had to say it." Mako said. "They weren't good for you. I never liked any of the girls that pursued me after you. They were just using you Bo. You will find someone."

"Mom always said that there was one person special for each of us. That dad had been hers."

Mako had to fight off a laugh. "Bolin. You know that's not true. There are always other people. It can FEEL like there's only one person for you, but you move on when you have to." Korra hadn't, not that he had any argument about that. At least not in the long run, thankfully things had worked out in the end. "Let's go home Bo. You need to rest."

"Go home without me." Bolin said dejectedly. How did he always end up the fool? The idiot? Maybe… he really didn't know how to pick his battles, or maybe he did wear his heart on his sleeve which left him so open for this type of pain. He knew deep down that Mako was right, again he was right about everything.

Mako felt old as he stared at his brother, looking away at some unknown point in the room. He hated this. His brother was so sweet, he had always wanted to protect that, yet he always seemed to find some way to trample on it. He was sure after this 'incident' that he'd have a hard time ever doing it again though. "Bo, please?"

Mako felt like a heel as he gently turned and guided his brother towards the door so they could leave. He felt mentally exhausted, more so than he had in a long time.

"Do you want to know why-why they always left Mako?"

"Because they weren't right for you?" Mako asked. He wanted to say more but he wanted his brother to get this out. If only because he'd never heard his brother bring up any 'reasons' before.

"Because I wasn't like you and Hasook." Bolin said softly. "And… when I tried to be-I didn't know what I was doing."

"You don't have to be like me Bo, and you _really_ don't have to be like Hassook." Mako said. "You're you, that is all that matters. It's fine to be yourself and if they don't see that and take you for who you are then they're clearly not worth your time." Realizing that he'd ended his brothers confession he pressed gently, not wanting to upset his brother anew. "What about you wasn't like me?"

Bolin's stomach twisted sharply. His brother was right, for the most part he'd only have a girlfriend for a few weeks before they decided to move on. Since they weren't getting what they had actually wanted out of their relationship, out of _him_. "I might fall in love too easily, but I wanted my first time to be with someone special to me."

Mako sighed, unsure what to say to that. He stopped walking and put his hands onto his brother's shoulders. "I'm sorry Bolin."

"For what?" Bolin asked. "You didn't do anything wrong right? Again it's just me."

"I'm sorry for how much you're hurting. I'm… I'm just sorry."

"It really hurts Mako." Bolin said softly as they began walking again.

"I know Bo." Not that he'd ever say but he really did know. Though his own hurt had ended when he got Korra, he knew the pain that Bolin had. If only from the single time he'd really ever felt it. The seething jealousy he had when Korra had left their change room with his brother so they could go out on their date.

As they walked over to where the rest of Bolin's clothes were, he wondered if he was really as good a brother as he hoped he was.


End file.
